Can you absolutely credit it? Here we are in the middle of the worst crisis since Noah said I think it’s going to rain; the stock market is lower than a Ginger Tom’s morals, the plagued are walking the earth, the shops are running out of all the essentials – especially mother’s favourite tipple – and what does our glorious leader do? Goes and gets himself infected with bat flu! And he’s not the only one! That oaf Hancock – who they’ve put in charge of the medicine cabinet – has got it too… and others no doubt. What have they been doing? Holding a pox party?
What is the point of being in power if you can’t avoid picking up the blight from Jo Public? What kind of example does that set to the masses – both foreign and domestic? If we can’t keep our cognoscenti free of it, what hope is there for the rest of us? I am depressed. I have several large ones to recover from the gripe this has brought on – which further depletes my stock of fire-water.
Mitzi has been out in search of reinforcements, but so far has only come up with some dubious looking cocktail mixers and a fruit juice. Fruit at a time like this! It gets my goat. I am now seriously considering taking to the bath-tub and mixing my own. All I need is some paraffin, berries and a bit of nerve and I could be drowning in the stuff by Easter.
However on further investigation it appears the whole homemade spirit enterprise may be a lot more complicated than I first thought. What exactly is a still?
For reference Mitzi points me in the direction of the Internet. They’ve got everything in there! It’s a mine of information… Who knew? I very quickly discover more than I ever want to read about the electric gargle making business and I decide it should be left to the experts. Although why they charge such an enormous amount for a stiff one is still not fully explained…
I can’t help feeling somewhere on the web the cure to all our current ills lies waiting. As soon as I’ve figured out how to use Google properly I’m sure I will track it down.
Bulk and The Devil 