47 days of solitary confinement give or take time off at the NHS’s pleasure. I thought we would be out after a couple of weeks so I could resume my old life of depleting Pomeroy’s wine cellar and dodging the repo man.
The National state of affairs is still hard for this bear with a small brain to fully grasp. Is it doing any good keeping us all cooped up? Are we any further forward in stemming the tide of English dead? Everywhere I look everyone has everything to say about the situation – and how we get out of it – but no one seems to know anything. Least of all the people we put in charge of the situation. Where are the real leaders when we need them? Boris is too busy getting his latest squeeze up the duff, catching bat flu and falling over his own trousers to give any quality time to the current circumstances.
So it’s all been put in the hands of uni swots who – if they are anything like the number crunchers of my old City acquaintance – don’t even know what time the pubs open.
This has all been horribly highlighted by the owl in chief Neil Ferguson, who has taken time off from putting the decimal point in the wrong place to give somebody else’s wife the what for in contravention of his own effin’ rules! Don’t do as I say… do what I think I can get away with…
Watching our leaders at work is like seeing a troop of incompetent circus clowns f**k up their own act. And still they insist we think of them as World beating performers we can trust with our lives and livelihoods!
But we get the leaders we deserve – so well done us.
Talking of which, Mitzi has been in a sullen mood for the last couple of days. It appears she now has a lot more competition on the virtual sex front, as bored couples are filming their Ugandan activities and posting the results on the interweb FOC for cheap-skating thrill-seekers to view on endless repeat. It all sounds rather intriguing, but Mitzi won’t let me near the screen to verify any of this.
She is outraged that the competition is threatening her own enterprise and she is waxing somewhat lyical – in multiple languages – about what the courting couples can do with their sex films – which I gather is anything apart from post them free on TicToc.
So Mitzi is either going to have to up her game or lower her prices and I’m not sure what any of this means to yours truly. But if I am being perfectly honest – I can’t wait to find out!
Bulk and The Devil 