My dark mood has been laid even further low and up until today I didn’t think that was possible. Pitt-Quicker has been on the all-seeing telephone to say that the great Brexit cash-in is in danger of going the same way as free school milk and one of my racing certanities in the 2:30 at Haydock Park.
It appears that the great masterplan – known only to a select few – of turning a massive profit from other people’s Brexit misfortunes lies in tatters as once again Bojo’s troop of clowns fluff their lines and miss their cues with breath-taking incompetence.
The plan was a simple one. Keep the World’s tradesmen on tenter-hooks for a new UK deal until the 11th hour, watch the whole lot begin to fall off a cliff and just when the Investors in the street are tearing their collective hair out – Government appointed magicians pull several rabbits out of the hat in the form of binding Trade deals with rich customers and those in the know cash in their buy now – pay later convertibles and spend the rest of the year counting their winnings. Simple as that. Nothing complicated. Shorting the markets is a time honoured British tradition and if the great unwashed voters want to walk away from the EU land of milk & honey, then who are we City Types to deny ourselves a bit of compensation on the side?
Bojo went along with it because it keeps his mates happy and lines his own pockets so it seemed to be all systems go. All he had to do was wind the Trade officials up and tell them to keep talking in the various negiotiations until the adults arrive on December 31st and make it all work!
But it turms out that oaf Frost and Truss the Queen of Cheese are really ballsing it up. Instead of sitting down & talking about the weather for 10 months, they have actually been negotiating and trying to make some real headway! The direct result has been some very pissed off foreigners and worse – the press taking sides! Anyone looking too closely at this whole issue is the last thing we need.
Pitt-Quickly thinks at this rate there won’t be any hats to pull rabbits out of come New Year’s Eve. And given our leader’s track record over the last 6 months we are not optimistic there is any likelyhood of even this simple fix coming off.
What has got P-Q particularly rattled is that if this plan goes up the trees, our new found Russian friends are going to be massively put out – especially as they have put most of the stake in to bring this about. Apparently they don’t take kindly to losing their shirts to incompetent clowns and have been known to settle scores by sending around a case of arsenic and old lace to anyone they think has crossed them as Alex Navalny could testify – if he ever wakes up.
So my top-up pension plan is under severe threat, and just when I seem to be developing a conscience. After all these years it looks like my old Sunday school teacher may have been right: crime doesn’t pay. Although I have a whole lifetime’s career in the City that says otherwise!
Bulk and The Devil 